Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
