how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
