she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
