if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you would pick up someone in the library
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize