i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
