Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
