So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
