She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
barbara walters just said penis...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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