I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
