that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
