Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
