:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
