If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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