I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Someone came in the potted fern
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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