this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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