Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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