Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
