dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The uberlube is also flammable
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize
