I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
