i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize