My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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