I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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