So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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