I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
