Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
