your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
