Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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