I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
