Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
