i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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