hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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