I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
