If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
So squirting runs in the family.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
