Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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