why didn't you poke me back
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
