I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
