Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
We smell like vodka and hangover
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