i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
