When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
