How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
