i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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