Dual....:-)
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
