the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
