She is in my trunk
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
it was like having sex with a tree stump
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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