Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
