I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
