Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
