Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
