their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
