do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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