I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
