see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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