Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
