I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
