Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
