I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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