what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
farters have to be the big spoon...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
