is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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