this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think my moral compass just broke
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